Well, folks, we’ve made it. It’s Super Bowl week. I know what some of you might be thinking; “hey Mike, I thought this article was supposed to come at the beginning of the playoffs.” Yes. That was the initial plan but sometimes plans change.
On Sunday we get a matchup that precisely zero people saw coming, but before we talk about the 2 teams in the big game, we have to take a moment to talk about those playoff teams left in their wake.
*** If you don’t want the sarcasm-filled revisionist history on the defeated, feel free to scroll down to find the Super Bowl preview chatter. I’ll only cry a little on this inside***
Las Vegas Raiders
Sure enough, the team that should consider themselves lucky to have even made the playoffs given all of the off-the-field news they made this year didn’t have what it takes to stick around. Despite that the team has a bright future ahead of them and- never mind they fired the GM and hired a new coach despite the interim man leading them to the postseason. Better yet they added fuel to the proverbial fire by hiring Josh McDaniels, noted mediocre coach from his time with the Broncos and also a flight risk if you remember his time with the Colts that last about as long as it took for me to write out this sentence.
Who knows what the future looks like for the Silver & Black? The previous regime has been gutted with a brand new coat of paint being put on an organization in a lot of trouble both in the court of public opinion and financially. Is Derek Carr still going to be with the team? Is another painful rebuild afoot? The more things change they still stay the same for the Raiders, no matter what city they occupy.
New England Patriots
Did I not tell all of you this would happen? This team wasn’t built for the playoffs and overachieved. Come the playoffs, where the stakes are high, Mac Jones wasn’t ready. It happens. Boston fans have become so accustomed to success that this season was seen as a failure. You’ll be fine. You’re even ahead of schedule.
As for the game itself, the Patriots finally got to understand how Buffalo felt for nearly 20 years as they got steamrolled. It was like something you’d read in a book. The nerd in high school gets jacked after making it his life goal to get revenge on the jock that stuffed him in a locker. Then they finally meet again and the nerd suddenly goes from angry pent-up nerd to slasher flick on the high school bully? That was this game in a nutshell.
Philadelphia Eagles
You had no business being in the playoffs, Philly, and you know it. Listen, as an Eagles fan, I’m not going to complain about them being in the playoffs as that’s the goal of being a fan- to root your team on in hopes that they reach the pinnacle. However, this team has been hovering on the edge of a rebuild for about 3 or 4 years now and I figured this year would be the year it swung towards blowing it up. They got dismantled by Brady and the Bucs because much like the world of professional wrestling, sometimes things feel a little scripted and Brady did want his win back. That was a joke, please don’t attack my mentions.
What’s next for Philly? Three first-round picks this year and holes to fill along the offensive line with Lane Johnson never being healthy, Andre Dillard being bad, Brandon Brooks retiring, and Jason Kelce likely joining him. I say this every year, but I always mean it- don’t screw this up, Howie!
Dallas Cowboys
It’s a new dawn. It’s a new day. The Cowboys fell apart as soon as the playoffs started. And I’m feelin’ good. Ok, I’m assuming if you can still read what I’m writing it means I’ve avoided being fired for besmirching the good name of the Cowboys so with that being said, I’m a little disappointed. This was supposed to be the year they shed that label. Hell, I picked them to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl, and not in a jinxing manner. I was serious! Oh well. Better luck next year? Maybe then you’ll have learned to not call a QB draw with no timeouts late in the game, down by a score. Don’t give me the nonsense about the officials. This came down to lack of discipline and a coaching staff trying to think outside the box, but instead of actually thinking outside the box, Mike McCarthy did the coaching equivalent to shoving a box of crayons up his nose.
Pittsburgh Steelers
Man, who didn’t retire in Pittsburgh after this game? Ben’s gone. DC Keith Butler retired. GM Kevin Colbert is retiring after the draft. Things might get a little bleak. The only thing positive for Pittsburgh in their playoff game against Kansas City is that it prepared their fan base a glimpse of what their future might entail- plenty of sadness. Have fun with Mason Rudolph as your starting QB for the 2022 season.
Arizona Cardinals
I’m so disappointed in you Arizona that I don’t have anything to say. If you’re going to choke down the stretch next year, at least hire someone able to do the Heimlich. Until then, just get out of my face.